Which Labour man will YOU believe?

Which Labour man will YOU believe? 

If Jeremy Corbyn DOES come to Southport, local people will get a chance to question him . By doing so, they will be able to decide which are more truthful. Jeremy Corbyn’s promises (since reversed) to abolish all student loans, including the ones already out there. Do you trust ‘Jezza’? Or might you trust more former Labour councillor Simon Parkes of Whitby claims on a Channel 4 documentary that he had fathered a child with an alien? 

When Councillor Parkes appeared on ITV’s ‘This Morning’ programme, hosted by Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby, he showed them a picture he’d drawn of the first alien he met, which he described as “a green creature, about 7ft tall, wearing a purple robe” with big eyes and body like an insect. He said he was six years-old when he had his first extra-terrestrial sexual experience.

“The creature reached into the cot that I was in, lifted me up and I was tilted over to look straight into its face.”

Asked whether the aliens had been concerned about their sexual partner’s young age, the now 54-year-old replied: “No because, it’s about experience and your soul,” adding that his alien lover travelled in a “teardrop shaped craft with the blunt end going forward and the pointy end at the back.”

The father of three (humans) told the broadcasters that his last encounter with alien beings was only six weeks ago when one came back to our planet to give him a “health check”.

This Labour councillor’s policy on sexual relations with aliens, according to Councillor Parkes, involved only becoming sexually involved four times a year. He claims to have fathered an extra-terrestrial lovechild called Zarka although he expressed worries that having sex with the alien he calls ‘the Cat Queen’ has caused tension in his marriage.

“We will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth. My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.”

Parkes also claimed that his ‘real mother’ is a 9 foot high green alien with eight, stick-like fingers who appeared to him in his cot when he was six months old. He told the Channel 4 documentary Confessions Of An Alien Abductee that this alien being reached out to him with “these two green ‘stick things, like beanpoles’.”

“I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’, and mummy has thumbs. These are green and pointed and there’s four of them. I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain, saying ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”

Despite the frequent ‘close encounters’, Councillor Parkes claimed that his work was unaffected. “It’s a personal matter and it doesn’t affect my work. I’m more interested in fixing someone’s leaking roof or potholes. People don’t want me to talk about aliens but I get more common sense out of the aliens than out of Scarborough Town Hall.”

When Jeremy Corbyn visits Southport, perhaps local people will ask him about his flip flop promise over Student Loan abolition which disappeared the day he failed to win the election. Or perhaps Mr Corbyn will tell us whether Aliens might help get more sense out of Bootle Town Hall than Southport residents can?