We all understand that breaking up takes an emotional toll. However, at times we forget that it comes with a price tag too. And in addition to dealing with hurt and rejection, it’s common for one or both individuals to walk away being financially worse off.
Those financial issues can make breaking up even more traumatic. That’s why it’s so important to have strategies in place to minimize the damage and end the relationship without having long lasting impacts on your psyche or credit score. Here, we’ll tell you more about them.
How Are Financial And Emotional Costs Connected
So many people see intertwining finances as a rite of passage in a relationship. They make major purchases together, sign a lease on a shared apartment, or start a savings account for their future. It’s a great idea while you’re together — but if the relationship ends, you have more to do than work through feelings of betrayal. You’ll need to experience a painful process of untangling your finances and go through disappointment that someone you trusted enough to share finances with wasn’t the one for them.
Even when there are no shared finances, breaking up can be expensive. You may have to move to get away from a bad situation. If you and your partner worked together, you may be faced with seeking out a new job to avoid awkwardness or confrontation. Some couples even fight over gifts and other property. In a worst case scenario, you could end up having to replace your items or even going to court.
Even when things are generally civil, small financial matters can keep you in constant contact with someone you just want to forget. That can be more than a little upsetting. You need some tools and strategies to get through these situations.
Set a Budget And Control Your Costs
It’s always a good idea to have a written budget and know exactly where your money is going. It’s even more important to do this after a breakup. When you suddenly have extra expenses while trying to extricate yourself from your ex, don’t soothe yourself in ways that cost a lot of money.
Those nights out commiserating with your friends and the money you spend treating yourself may set you back financially.
Communicate in Writing
If you have to talk to your ex about splitting up shared property, breaking your lease, or other financial matters, use email or text. Even if things aren’t contentious, you can keep things cordial and avoid strong emotions by putting things in writing. The asynchronous nature of text and email also gives you the opportunity to cool off if things do get ugly.
Hopefully things won’t deteriorate between you and your ex. However, if they do, you will be glad you have some documentation.
Talk With Experts And People in Charge
This may be a good time to consult a financial advisor. If you need help becoming financially independent or dealing with post-breakup debts, their advice can be absolutely invaluable.
Also, identify people who have the answers and solutions you need. For example, if you want out of a shared lease, don’t assume you are stuck. Instead, speak with the landlord or apartment manager. You may be able to negotiate something that works to your benefit. That’s better than acting drastically, affecting your credit rating, or being stuck in a lease because you hesitated to ask the right person for help.
Be Reasonable But Protect Your Interests
No matter how angry you are, make every effort you can to be reasonable and accommodating. If you end up having to involve a third party, it will work in your favor if you can show that you behaved fairly.
That said, you don’t have to be a doormat. Also, you deserve to be treated fairly and to maintain some financial security.
Don’t Confuse Finances With Feelings
Before you decide to fight with your ex about something related to money, take a step back and get some perspective. Consider whether you are truly invested in whatever the issue is, or if this is just something that you’ve chosen to funnel your frustrations into. If that’s the case, get outside, touch the grass, and gain some perspective.
Talk About Money And Values
Don’t make finances a taboo subject. Your feelings on this issue are a clear reflection of your values and priorities. Consider trying a dating app https://hily.com/international-dating/ where you can make your thoughts on money clear and find a worthier person who feels the same way.
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