How to Start a Conversation with a Girl Online

Starting a conversation is always one of the most challenging parts of dating and networking with people in a social setting. After all, while we’re taught that “Hello” is the appropriate greeting for a casual way to engage someone, it’s not enough to actually engage a person online. You have to say more than just hi, and please, for the love of everything, don’t send a single message more that says “What’s up?”. It’s done. It’s generic. It’s not even a real effort considering it’s often an auto-response that’s easy to send out.

If you really want to find and start a conversation with a girl and keep it going, you have to learn how to make the online world work for you. For starters, let’s get a better greeting.

Alternatives to the Typical “Hello”

Women are just as tired of men saying hi and nothing else as you are of kicking yourself for not taking the time to come up with something more clever. Fortunately, there are plenty of other options that will get her attention and meet girls online, and more importantly, engage her in conversation.

Consider saying “Greetings and Salutations”—it sounds formal, yes, but not really. Plus, it’s kind of weird and cool, and might even get her attention for the Charlotte’s Web reference (if you know, you know).

Another great option is to lead with something from her profile. For example, if she’s into nature and you’re a biologist, you could lead with a corny nature joke or suggest you spend time enjoying nature together as a way to segue into talking about a real date.

Some people like to dig right into ice breakers with fun questions and prompts. Skip the “how are you” and the “what’s going on” and get right to the real questions—how long could you live on a desert island with NO Internet if you had a mansion with a pool and all of your closest family and friends? What would you take on vacation if there was a rule that you could only pack three things in your suitcase? Get creative and make it fun.

Listen More Than You Talk

Even in the online world, listening is important. Although you “listen” in a different way via messengers and email, it’s still important to do. Make sure that you reference her profile, her former conversation, and the things that she’s mentioned that are important to her. If you feel like you’re monopolizing the conversation, apologize and prompt her to share something this time. Not only is it polite, but it shows that you’re interested and want to get to know her more.

Keep It Clean

Whatever you do, do not ask for or send nudes as an opener. In most cases, you won’t be sending them much at all. However, if that’s a conversation that you have and that comes later, that’s between the two of you. Even in the casual FWB dating and nsa world, women aren’t waiting around to see your business. They would rather have a conversation and go from there. Anyone can send NSFW pictures. Not everyone can start a real conversation.

Discuss Pop Culture or Hobbies

If you’re at a loss for how to start a conversation with a girl, but you want to talk to her, take the time to think about the hobbies or pop culture references that you might be able to share. For example, if she’s also an Office fan, you might share your favorite line or episode, or ask what she thinks of a certain storyline. It’s engaging and it starts a real conversation, not just the exchange of pleasantries.

These are just a few things to keep in mind as you go out into the world of online dating. When you want to start a conversation, you have to make sure that’s clear in what you say and how you say it. You also need to skip the typical responses and openers and don’t bore her with endless talking about yourself. If you are just yourself and take the time to let things play out, you’ll see that it’s easier than you think to succeed when talking to girls online.